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One-sentence Reviews

Tales from the 99

Merch

 

One-sentence Reviews

Burn After Reading
I could spend the rest of my life watching that disembodied hand draw on Frances McDormand's butt with a Sharpie.

Cranford
Note to self: When time-travelling back to the Victorian Age, bring a buttload of antibiotics.

Damages
It looked cool at first but they wanted to keep pulling my chain more than they wanted to tell a story.

Darjeeling Limited
No, adding a full-fledged featurette as a prequel doesn't automatically raise your film to the level of The Meaning of Life.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
If Dr. Doom isn't going to be cool, scary and interesting, why bother?

Gandhi
Spoiler alert: He's a saint, the Brits are bastards.

Grey's Anatomy
From their own script: "I'm allergic to corn-based propellant."

Hancock
Actually seeing the black con's head stuck up the white con's ass did not improve the joke or the film.

Hancock
Actually seeing the black con's head stuck up the white con's ass did not improve the joke or the film.

Michael Clayton
George Clooney, angry, in a good movie with Tilda Swinton... wow!

Milk
Another community activist bites the dust... will those who reach for the American dream always be at risk of assassination?

Nanny McPhee
Hannah and I sat through it without complaint but I'd love to see Kelly Macdonald in a meatier role.

Sanjuro
A naked blade finds many sheaths.

Speed Racer
Louise has a son who grows up to drive the way she did.

The Trouble With Angels
It turns out that Haley Mills movies do age like fine wine.

The Watchmen
As buddy movies go, more exciting than The Odd Couple, less fun than The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

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